#no but really i am crying
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the wettest of cats
#mr. “I refuse to become another goddamn mystery” himself#i’ll cry if I think too hard about him#also for tmagp listeners how was episode 22? :)#also!! this is for a dtiys I’m organising over at instagram! take a peek if you’re interested !#honestly not really any rules or deadlines. tag me if you decide to draw him ! :]#allowed myself a one day break from commissions and animating to finish this boy#(i am this 🤏 close to burnout but alas i shall persist)#jonathan sims#jon sims#the magnus archives#tma#magpod#the magnus protocol#magprotocol#the archivist#tma fanart#fanart#illustration#digital painting#digital art#dtiys#my art
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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REPLICA PLAYLIST
MUSIC UNDER CUT
I have been receiving requests for any songs that inspired Replica, so here, have my personal playlist. Sorry it’s not Spotify/Soundcloud but they don’t have some of these songs available so uh… guess you’re stuck with YouTube vids. For fun I'll include my personal titles for them (which might give a few hints of what to expect in the future/end).
Replica Main Theme - “Die for You” by Grabbitz Like Father Like Son Like Brother (Omega and Shelldon) - "As Above So Below" by Alistair Lindsay Mikey's Theme / The 1st Vision - "Suzume no Tojimari" by Nanoka Hara Military (Mad) Dogs / Central Park Colony - "Imperium" by Madeon Shanghai - "Icarus" by Madeon Boom Goes the Donnie-mite (Mikey/Donnie vs the Sweeper) - "The Red Zone" by Mitsuoto Suzuki The Day the Sky Bled Red - "7 Seconds Till the End" by Nobuo Uematsu Going Out Like a Boss (Raph and Leo) - "Agape" by Nicholas Britell Remembering the Right Way (Mikey and Leo) - "The Souls of Many" - by Alistair Lindsay Mystic Hands / The 2nd Vision - "Am I Dreaming" by Metro Boomin x A$AP Book 2 Trailer - "Sea Dragon" by Covet 7 Years Later - "Iron" by Woodkid Leo's Theme / Attack on the Labor Camp - "Ego Death" by Polyphia Omega's Theme - "Touch" by Daft Punk Flat Lines (Omega Alone) - "Die Toteninsel Emptiness" by 1000 Eyes Spear - "Monsters" by Tommee Profitt Final Protocol - "The Kraken" by Katie Dey Rise / Epilogue - "Close in the Distance" by Masayoshi Soken & Tom Mills
I will admit, it's a little embarrassing since you can easily see the patterns of what I've been listening to for the past year or two. I swear I listen to more than just videogame OSTs, these songs just jive well with the story and I often find lyrics distracting when brainstorming scenes. Regardless, the music I listen to is such an important part of my creative process and some of these songs really defined the scenes I now have locked in my head. So I figured it was only fair to give them the credit they're due.
I will continue to add to this playlist, and will note in comic updates when one of these songs is applicable!
#lofi Donnie anyone?#also sort of celebration for 19k followers wow#should I do something else for it?#I particularly like Leo's theme being titled Ego Death#very fitting#Also the final song makes me cry because the lyrics are just too dang perfect#I'd like to do an animatic with the song when this story is all done#check out the lyrics if you get the chance#in fact I'd like to do an animatic trailer for the Book 2 Teaser#we'll see though#i can't allow myself to get too distracted from the comic itself haha#replica#rottmnt replica#kathaynesart#playlist#music#spoilers? but like... you know how it ends in the movie so not really?#kind of?#did you see the rise movie?#then you’ve been spoiled sorry#posting again at an ungodly hour#I am tired#save rottmnt#rottmnt#TMNT#Donatello#casey jones
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lazy sunday
#ellen joe#zzzero#zenless zone zero#zzz fanart#animation#<-barely counts. honestly#tumblr crushed this to pieces i am going to cry#i really need to stop posting at bedtime on weekdays#sixxtytoo
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deliverance (ft. a little bird that didn’t make the cut)
#genshin impact#scaramouche#wanderer#raiden shogun#venti#my art#finally free from this piece aaaaa#ive been working on it for like 4 days straight#there's always more details i wanna add but#i am practicing self restraint (failing)#the concept started with the mecha rib idea and then expanded from there :>#i really wanted to incl subtle things that called back to scara's past#(and also draw him crying)
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“I want you to stay with me, because you want to. Only if you want to”
also a version with strings:
OG:
Everybody raving about the “I didn’t realize you think sow low of me” while I’m still obsessing abt this
edit: forgot to add the second ver. so adding it in now
#Broooooo I am so sick of people piling on Stolas for being a hypocrite and assuming the worst#and I’m so sick of people blaming Blitzo and failing to realize how insecure he is about being loved#helluva boss blitzo#helluva blitz#helluva boss blitz#helluva boss fanart#helluva boss stolas#stolas goetia#stolitz#full moon helluva boss#full moon episode#I deadass think he handles giving the asmodean crystal really well#this scene made me cry#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#art#helluva boss fandom
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(pre-calam) filling the compendium :-)
+ closeup and the aftermath
#i am PRAYING that this posts okay and nothing gets squished or looks ugly. but if it is youcant tell me because ill cry#okay. anyways.#zelink#zelda#link#loz#botw#totk#link botw#zelda botw#loz fanart#for some reason trying to format this became a sisyphean ass task so now i just want to post it and go lie down or something#“why use warm colours if theyre on satori mountain” idk.... i liked how they looked :)#ok what else. ummm. so we KNOW zelda filled the compendium like she was running the navy right#its really funny because i dont even think its ever mentioned other than like. maybeeee one throwaway line from purah?#but there was a fandom osmosis moment bcus everyone Knew she'd be on top of it. and its true. she would be.#my art
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Was listening to "I am weary, don't let me rest" and "I know you'll follow" from Snorri Hallgrímsson (Icelandic composers my beloved ough) — and got consumed by feelings so here's some repeat until death aftermath 🫠
#I AM SO UNWELL ABOUT THEM#i'm gonna cry this feels a little like a parallel to nqk chapter 15#leonardo has come so far but the journey has really just begun#hhhhh i have no patience for backgrounds but this one needed it and now it's 2am and i am blind#rottmnt#rottmnt fanart#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt movie#disaster twins#future leo#future leonardo#future mikey#future michelangelo#future donnie#future donatello#nqk#nqk adjacent#tervdraws
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just when he thought he felt closer to him because he finally understood his struggles, resolve, and responsibilities… turns out he doesn't know the half of it... its ok sakura and ume, everything will be ok soon. (o・・)ノ”(ノ<、)
#he really looks up to umemiya 🥹 i am crying#ragi-senpai pls come to the rooftop huhu (。•́︿•̀。)#wind breaker#wbk#wbk spoilers#wind breaker spoilers#sakura haruka#umemiya hajime#wbk sakura#wbk umemiya#haruka sakura#hajime umemiya#wbk manga#wind breaker manga#mangaedit#wind breaker (satoru nii)#wind breaker official art#wbk official#wbkedit#windbreakeredit#sakura#umemiya#my edits#nanaqueue(♡´͈༝`͈)ฅ˒˒
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DEAD POETS SOCIETY (1989) dir. Peter Weir
#neilperryedit#robert sean leonard#dpsedit#deadpoetssocietyedit#dps#dead poets society#neil perry#useraish#tuserkaren#mialook#usernivi#tusermiles#userrlaura#dailyflicks#*mine#*mygifs#but he doesn't know ! because he doesn't even really know neil#not to take what i said in my lane edit but it's literally trying so hard to be this person that your parents want you to be !#like your parent will never see you how you actually are because they're so busy trying to force you to be this whole other person#the tragedy that is neil perry will never not get to me like i'm sick to my stomach and i am crying my eyes out#he tried he tried so hard to be his best and he just wanted this one thing for himself#also this scene is lowkey my enemy bc i hate coloring it#i feel like it always looks kind off ?
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#david tennant#catherine tate#freema agyeman#someone has probably done this already but here i am with my version!!!!#one more week of work left before winter break!!!#i can't waitttt#then i can read all my dw books in peace and cry over these two all over again :')#also i really like how the colouring came out for the 3rd gif
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i need help with vet bills (again).
hi. for those of you who remember, earlier this year i asked for donations to help me afford toos' vet bills, who we found out through your help had kidney failure, and again with your help we got her on medication for it. unfortunately it wasn't enough, and we lost her. and then shortly after, dexter began deteriorating, which we put down to his grief of losing toos - she kept him young, he followed her everywhere, he only played because of her, he only ate when she ate, etc. without her he just stopped. and then he started to have seizures and fits daily. we got him blood tests, but he was suffering so badly. we made the decision to put him down. i didn't ask for donations this time, because i was so deeply embarrassed to ask for help again. but we are still recovering financially from that, as well as the parts of toos bills that didn't get covered from donations. my mother hasn't worked for a very long time, she's disabled and very sick, and she receives PIP from the government that only covers her monthly medications that are not covered by the NHS. my father retired early to become her full time carer, and we are living off his pension. i am too disabled to work, but because my mother already receives PIP and i live with them, the government are resistent to giving me any help - so i have zero income, and rely entirely on my parents.
this is jenny. she's a 14 year old cairn terrier, who loves when we garden because she wants to help dig holes. she helped us bury dexter and toos, digging their graves for them with my dads help. she's an angel, and loves people so much she likes to escape under the fence and join other families for awhile. one time she got into someones back garden and asked to come in as they were eating lunch. she really hates flies, and will try to bite them out of the air (she has never succeeded but i believe she will one day). she will rub her face against you until you start stroking her, and will growl and even bark if you stop! we don't have the money to take jenny to the vets, for a checkup or for anything they may want to do. this has been an ongoing issue, but toos and dexter took priority, and it hasn't been a bother to her. she existed as normal for a long time, but that's since changed.
jenny has this lump in her mouth, it is larger than the picture shows, but she is a nightmare to force open her mouth since this got so big, i think it's uncomfortable or painful for her. she can't properly close her lips now, and it has pushed all her front teeth away, misshaping her mouth, and sometimes it bleeds profusely. eating has become difficult for her, she can't eat anything hard, and currently will only eat soft human foods like rice, scrambled egg chopped up so small she doesn't have to chew, and things like soups and gravy. she's lost a lot of weight, and i'm getting frightened. to add onto it, i've found lumps like this across her body. i've done as much research as i can, and i believe it to be an oral tumor, it fits, and it looks right, and it spreading across her body is called 'full staging'. and going by all i've read - they will want to remove them in surgery. according to my research, this will cost anywhere from £585 - £4,740 for just the lump in her mouth. that's not including any checkup/test costs, or the other lumps on her body.
she hasn't been to the vet yet, i don't have any secure goal or bills to share, just my assumptions and beliefs from researching myself online. my parents refuse to take her because we can't afford it. i want to save up money, have it in my bank, and show them that we can help her now, before it gets worse, or it's too late. as i said before, i don't have any income, so the only way i can do this is with help.
here's a link to my paypal.me
the icon is a little mouse, and the @ is rivellon
i struggled so badly posting the first post like this for toos. i felt so guilty and embarrassed and ashamed. but i have no choice again, i want to help jenny. i don't want her to suffer. and selfishly, i can't handle losing another dog so soon. this year has been waking nightmare, and i need your help to stop it getting even worse.
please reblog and share, even if you can't donate.
thank you for reading.
#animal illness#animal sickness#pet illness#pet sickness#vet bills#vet help#i don't really know what to tag this as. i don't remember what i did before#and i don't want to go look for my toos post because it will hurt so bad to see it i think#im on hiatus because i cant deal with this and be here right now. but im gonna queue/schedule this a bit i think#im sorry for asking for help again. but please consider helping jenny. she's so lovely#and she's keeping me alive right now#losing toos and dexter ripped me to shreds and shes the only reason i havent completely broken down#i am absolutely terrified of what will happen if we lose her too#god i feel so fucking guilty. i can't stop fucking crying. i hate this so much#im so sorry guys. please reblog and consider donating even a tiny amount#tiny amounts add up yknow#anyway . i should post this now instead of hiding in the tags
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actually sometimes being neurodivergent is great bc you have a particular kind of Silly Mode that just . manifests glory. harmless fun is my precious side quest & i have a high score in whimsy. like okay if i gotta be the first dork in the dance pit it's gonna be me and this random toddler and we're gonna avril-style rock ouuuuttt
#i also like starting applause i'm really good at it and have a high score in it#i make entire groups cheer a lot. my friends are used to it . i am bolstered by so many of them being theatre kids#im like. let's celebrate! :) a guy did a thing well!!! :)#once we helped someone parallel park and it was SUCH a hard road to do it on#this is in boston. so death be upon drivers. also it was during st. anthony's feast. in the north end. iykyk#and we helped her get in there (one of my friends tbh stood in traffic for her)#and we cheered when she finally parked. she got out and she was crying and laughing and was like#''that was the hardest thing ive ever done ur so sweet''' and meanwhile we were PARTYING#just stone cold sober but like YEAH GIRL YOU DID THE HARD THING FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!#i've been bullied for so much lol i am immune to most insults at this point bc im like#girl when i was 12 i'd already heard every insult and good lord were they specific. just plain ''crazy'' aint it
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More Frater Imperator angst bc I am a monster😭
Aether picks up Copia, who is sitting miserably on the floor. The ghoul is worried and asks his former Papa what's on his mind.
Just a little sketch that came to my mind because I love Copia and would love to pick him up, put him in my pocket and protect him from everyone😖
He is just a little guy and needs some comfort!😭
#ghost#the band ghost#cardinal copia#copia#papa emeritus 4#papa emeritus iv#frater imperator#sketches#I love drawing Copia with more intense expressions on his face!#so I made another sketch of Copia having a breakdown and crying really intensly#it looks wonderful imo but it also hurts like hell seeing him like that! I am so sorryyy!#carosart
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What up LWA fandom :) I got something here I've been working on for almost 4 years now, started like kind of a silly thing I wanted to make for aesthetics and ended up being my biggest project so far. I wanted to share them here, but I'll be uploading them without a watermark on my patreon soon too.
This is kind of a love letter from me to the show and the people I've shared this interest with. LWA has helped me to grow so much as an artist and a person since back in 2020, when I first joined discord and met a lot of wonderful people who welcomed me as a fellow fan and a friend :)
Idk what else to say, I know the fandom is currently not as active as it was a couple of years ago, but I'm happy I got to finish these, at least for myself and the people still going around who love these characters as much as I do.
#my art#fanart#digital art#drawings#lwa#little witch academia#akko kagari#diana cavendish#amanda o'neill#sucy manbavaran#lotte jansson#constanze amalie von braunschbank albrechtsberger#jasminka antonenko#chariot dunord#ursula callistis#croix meridies#diakko#diakko week#Of course it has diakko too who do you think I am#tarot cards#kinda not really#Imagine like akko got as famous as chariot and got a set of cards herself#I made it with that intention#i love my sillies#sigh#goes to cry to a corner
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never forget...
read again?
no you did not see me repost this, shh
hemlo!! thank ya'll so so much for enjoying this lil comic series!! i know it's been a year since the first part, but most importantly i finished it 💀✨️
every single tags ya'll leave on me posts and past questions i recieve about this au is super appreciated, they make me smile the widest you have no clue!! im just a lil mad at myself that i couldn't expand on this au more so yall could have had more crumbs. irl stuff happened + still getting the hang of drawing and socializing again after years of doing neither of those 😭
but still, im glad i could share this comfort comic i made for myself, and for you guys too. it's a pretty personal one despite the characters not being mine 😅 i hope that you can walk away from this story believing (entirely or not) that someone out there still thinks of you, whether they're from a late/absent loved one who still wants the best for you or a dear friend who will make room in their hearts for you. life will never not be hard, but if you keep them close to your heart, adulting will be bearable 🫂
thank you so much for reading 💕
#as for this au's future (from me) i actually also have a spongebob and jimmy version of how timmy reveals to them the forgor thing#but i honestly dunno if i can get back to them soon. i'm working on a go comic that i already started#plus burnout. i wanted to take a break 🥲 maybe someday i'll revisit the idea#but go hogwild on playing around this au yourself idc how much u wanna strangle them i am still gonna cry at that shit 😭#but seriously thank you everyone. i wish i could have done more but thank you thank you thank you. really#nicktoons unite#danny phantom#timmy turner#the fairly oddparents#fop#nickelodeon#comics#fanart#my art#artists on tumblr#fancomic#i forgor lor
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